Comedy gold

Wow! Four posts in one day! I'm excited:

The following is a story sent to me over Facebook by one of my mates. It happened to one of his Hungarian house mates who is, shall we say, a bit simple. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

'Drash was serious when he told me this, I actually thought that I was going to die from arterial bleeding as my sides began to split

Drash, his sister, and mini drash are on the train from copenhagen to Copenhagen airport, a short hop, should be no dram.
They get off the train, amazed at the automatic doors on the train. Once in the airport sister Drash realises that she has left her phone on the train. Being a true gentlemen Drash runs back to the platform in the hope that the mobile phone is still there, sister drash and mini drash proceed to check-in.
With a sheet of sweat on his forehead and a pounding heart he manages to get back on the train, finding his sister's seat he also finds the holy grail, the mobile phone. Whislt celebrating like a premiership footballer he notices that something is wrong, despite the train being at a standstill the scenery appears to moving along gradually moving faster and faster. Running to the door he realises that the train is leaving the airport behind. This is bad, with the sense of direction of an egg, and with no map, Drashmeister does not know where he might end up.
Everyone else knows throughout Denmark that the next stop after leaving CPH International Airport is........................

...... (put the big gap in to build up the tension, wait for it)

























Malmo, not Malmo Denmark but Malmo in SWEDEN!
Not only does the train go over the biggest bridge in Scandinavia but also under the Baltic Sea which must of caused him no end of trouble! Anyway the conductor didn't give him the whopping fine you can recieve for not having a ticket and let him get of the train at Malmo without paying. I would like to tell you how he managed to get back to Denmark but i was on the verge of death, I hadn't been breathing for about 2 mins, was choking on a piece of cucumber and my stomach was in agony from trying not to laugh.
He's back safe and sound though.'

Polish cure for stomachache

Krakow & the disco:

Karolina and some of her friends from the university arranged a trip to go to Krakow, one of the most beautiful cities in Poland. The day we were supposed to go I woke up and felt like shit. I had a terrible stomachache and felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't want to let down the other people going on the trip though so I said I would go. Well Karolina's mum took one look at me and said that I wasn't going. You don't want to argue with a Polish woman, trust me. I was relieved in a way and the trip was rescheduled anyway.

I then went to bed and lay in agony for a few hours with the family dog Bocek to keep me company. When I woke up Karolina had a shot of vodka with cracked pepper in it. Courtesy of her mother. Apparently this is the Polish solution to a stomach bug. I must say I thought it would make me throw up, yet amazingly I felt better. Don't worry about those antibiotics folks just get yourself a bottle of Polish vodka and some strong cracked pepper.

That night we went to a disco that her friends had organised at a local place. Bojor had told me that it was a dodgy place and that I should carry a knife so I didn't have the best impression of the place in my head when I arrived. We met her friends at the entrance and went in, they were really nice but I thought it might be a little awkward since everyone still had a fear of speaking English to me.

Well, I should have taken a knife. Not because the place was dangerous, but to stab the DJ who played the worst songs possible. There was about twenty people there, some of them I had already met and others I had not. I sat next to one of Karolina's friends planning to force her and anyone else to speak to me. All the guys seemed to be clustered up the other end of the table. Anyway, things weren't going to badly and I managed to talk to quite a few people. One of the guys, Slifka, came and got me and asked if I wanted a shot of vodka at the bar with all the other guys. Who am I to refuse vodka? The vodka itself was pretty good as fair as vodka goes, and we chased it with some sort of sweet drink. Unfortunately none of the guys except Slifka spoke good English, but all the same I appreciated the effort they made to include me.

Later on I was forced to dance to the music I detested, I still consider myself to be a terrible dancer but I think I held my own in a weird kind of way. The DJ was beside himself with happiness that people were actually dancing, until then noone had being. Looking back, I wish I had taken some photos that night.

We left late and got a lift home with some of Karolina's friends. If it hadn't of been for the Polish vodka I wouldn't have survived the day.

Krakow, for real this time:

A few days after the disco we woke up far too early to catch a bus to Krakow. Four of Karolina's and Gosia's friends from the university were coming with us. Fortunately for me they were all studying English philology and spoke very good English. It took about three hours to get to Krakow which wasn't too bad considering the quality of the roads (pretty shit to be honest, sorry Poland it's true). When we got off the bus we headed for the old part sections of the city. On the way I saw a pigeon with a piece of bread trapped around it's neck. When it walked it had to hang it's head due to the weight of the bread. How on earth the bread got there in the first place I will never know...

The old sections of Krakow had some beautiful building including a church, which we bought tickets for. I was amazed just walking into the place and then I looked up and saw an intricate web of gold lacing and paintings on the ceiling of the place. It must have taken an eternity to complete. You had to pay extra to take photo's and I didn't have the right ticket so after awhile we left. Next stop, big tower with too many steps.

We climbed the tower for at least ten minutes and as it got closer to the top the staircase got narrower and narrower until you felt semi-claustrophobic. The view up the top was quite impressive however, with four different viewpoints to look out on. Of course you had to pay extra to take photos but we didn't see the sign until the grumpy old man yelled at us for doing so. Senile old bugger still had good eyesight. We left the tower and went to the nearby city square.

It was pigeons galore. We took some great photo's of all of us with all the different statues scattered around the place. We then walked through the market which was being redeveloped. There was the typical touristic type items on display so we went and found somewhere to eat lunch. We ended up at this place recommended to us which turned out to be crap, so I won't post the details.

Time was going by very quickly but we still had the royal palace to visit. Inside was mainly old tapestries and nude paintings adorned 75% of the place. In each room they had a fierce looking woman stationed to prevent the taking of photo's. What is it with the no photo's policy in Poland! A palace is a palace in my books although I did buy a bottle opener in the gift shop.

All day I had been hearing from the others about this statue of a dragon that breathes fire, so we headed there next. We learned that to get the dragon to breathe fire you had to SMS a number which would charge you and subsequently the dragon would breathe fire. Apparently it used to be free. I wasn't going to pay for it so I just waited until some other poor fool did then we got photo's with it. Cheating the system feels so good.

It was getting late so we decided to head back to the bus stop. On the way in one of the main streets everyone stopped me and informed me that now a guy in the street was going to draw a caricature of me. I sat down on this little stool and the man started drawing. I was getting worried because everyone was laughing and people I didn't know were watching him draw the picture. Ten minutes later it was done. I was impressed, he had given me the body of a kangaroo (Karolina's influence) and I truly looked stupid. I will try to upload a picture here. our final stop was McDonald's for coffee and then we headed back home. I really enjoyed Krakow but to be honest I prefer the smaller towns in Poland, possibly because they remind me of where I grew up.

Join this facebook group, force my mate to get a tattoo

1000 members needed (Click here).

Cheers.

Example video of Polish street punk

This is an old video but you get the idea. Our concert was much more crowded as well.

Apologies

Sorry for being a slack bastard lately...
Work has finally caught me up but I will try to write more posts this week.

When I woke up:

Poland seems like a long time ago now, but I will try to fill you in on what happened. I woke up the next day after having a few hours sleep, Karolina was already up but noone else was home. I ate some more Kielbasa (sausage), damn is it good! Homemade too. Karolina's crazy dog Bocek (Bacon in Polish) was going mental, it almost looked like a case of rabies. Luckily I saw a vaccination tag. Panic avoided.

The town we were in was quite small, with only 5000 or so residents. It was situated in a valley, in the winter time the nearby slopes are used for skiing and snowboarding. There are also huge ski jumps like the ones you see in the winter Olympics on some of the hills. We ventured out of the house and began to walk up a massive hill that leads to an old church. The surrounding hills were dotted with thousands of tall, straight trees. As it was the beginning of spring only some of the greenery was beginning to poke it's head out. It was beautiful nonetheless.

The first thing I thought of doing was going for a dirt-bike ride. The hills were perfect and I could see trails everywhere. Unfortunately I was without a motorbike so this wasn't going to happen. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I saw a squirrel. That's right folks, a squirrel. I remembered that when my dad went to Canada the only photo he took on the whole trip was of a squirrel. Since then I have held a fascination with them. It looked at me with it's tiny little face and I tried to chase it, I just wanted to pat it's furry little head. And perhaps pull on it's tail for a bit.

Karolina thought I was mental, understandably really. I had my fun with the squirrel and we moved on up the hill that seemed to never end. Near the top was a church that was a few hundred years old. Karolina made me stand next to a giant crucifix and took a photo, she knows I'm the Antichrist so it was funny for her. We then went to visit one of her friends who's father had died recently. Unfortunately he wasn't home, but the rest of the family was. None of them spoke English and there was a small boy who kept on trying to get me to play with his toy motorbike. Of course I had to push all the buttons to hear the different sound effects and it seemed to make him happy. We didn't stay for long and went back home.

Karolina's mum got home around 3pm and immediately asked me if I was hungry, Polish hospitality is second to none I swear! Of course I couldn't say no so she prepared a million items of food for me to eat and then asked me if I was still hungry. Honestly it didn't matter what I said I could still look bad. For example if I didn't ask for more then she assumed that her food was not very nice, therefore I had to eat more than usual. Food politics I tell ya!

After dinner we went to visit some more of her friends at the only 24 hour shop in town. The owner was called Marek and his son Yaramesh was also there. Also Karolina's sister Ania and another friend called Bojor were there. We brought Bocek as well, Marek complained about the smell of wet dog but he put up with it. Marek and Yaramesh didn't speak much English but Bojor had spent a few years in the UK so he spoke very good English. Ania could speak good English too but at first she was afraid too, a fear shared by most Polish people I was to learn.

The shop was very convenient. There were couches out the back and some crates to sit on as well. We sat down and I drank my first Polish beer, bloody good by the way. Nearly cheaper than water for the record... (In the Czech republic this is actually the case). I was half expecting having to sit and listen to people speak Polish all night but luckily Bojor was a cool guy and we spoke on and off the whole night. After a few hours Karolina and I walked home and went to bed still tired from the previous night.

We woke up fairly early the following day, typical in Poland. Karolina's mum woke up at 4:30am every morning! Soon enough someone knocked on the door, it was one of Karolina's best friends called Kobitzka (sp?). She was really nice, but again, afraid to speak English. I couldn't understand it completely, I mean I speak very little Polish, not even enough to have a basic conversation. I would not judge anyone who tried to have a conversation with me harshly. Karolina told me that a lot of Polish people share this fear, it would have to be the biggest difference compared to Denmark where everyone speaks English. After Kobitzka left we went and visited a lot more of Karolina's friends. And now I'm going to fast forward a few days.

Polish Street Punk:

Bojor and Yaramesh had bought Karolina and I tickets to a hardcore street punk concert, in Polish and featuring 'The Analogs'. It was in a basement type location in the nearby city of Bielsko Biala. When we got there the bands were just warming up so we bought some beers. The first band started to play (I can't remember the name) and it was actually pretty good. Up the front near the stage was a dangerous place to stand however. A big group (mainly guys) were jumping around and pushing each other. And I mean hard. The funny thing was when someone fell over they would all help to pick them up, and then resume the beating of each other. There looked to be a few neo-Nazis in the crowd wearing suspenders and big black stomping boots.

More people started to arrive and pretty soon it was quite packed. By the time the last band started playing even I was in the carnage. Karolina too. Bojor was crowd surfing and at one stage he was hanging from the roof kicking like a crazy man. It was intense. After a few encores we left with Yaramesh and Bojor and they gave us a lift home. That is one thing I would definetely have thought I would not be doing five years ago.

Stay tuned for the next post involving a Polish disco and the Polish cure for a stomachache.

First night in Poland

Part 1 of Poland:

In the last post I left the British and met up with Karolina and Gosia. We had a plane to catch from Copenhagen to Warsaw at around 10pm.

We had to wait around at the airport doing all the usual security bullshit/check-in stuff. Of course whilst going through the metal detector the alarm went off for me...
'Take your belt off sir, and shoes,' Says the security guard.
I did as he wished and of course my pants immediately fell down. He then patted me down while I was standing on this little stool and as I had to raise my arms above my head my pants fell down again. Luckily I am now used to this happening, besides he was the one who had to come uncomfortably close to my groin area.

Karolina and Gosia thought it was good for a laugh, this was good in a way as it was their first time flying and may have settled any nerves they were having. We moved into the lounge to wait for boarding to begin. When boarding began, the airline woman looked at my passport and then at me, then back at my passport. Great, I was thinking, what now.
'What happened to the long hair?' She asks me.
She was asking because in my photo I have dreadlocks, whereas now I have very short hair.
What do you think happened lady? I got a fucking haircut. This is what I wanted to say but she looked nice so I told her it had been time for a change.

The plane trip was pretty uneventful and we landed in Warsaw at about 11pm. Karolina's sister, Ania was meeting us at the airport with her boyfriend to drive us home. It was a long drive, five hours in total. Both Gosia's and Karolina's parents had no idea that they were coming home, it was a complete surprise. First we dropped off Gosia at her house, it was nearly 4am by this time. Ania then drove Karolina and I to her mums house and we went inside. There dog, Bocek went mental and half woke her mum up. Karolina then went into her mums bedroom and her mum started screaming, it was funny and scary at the same time. Then her mum saw me and I spoke the Polish I had being practicing over the last week. I will write what I said in English.
'Hello Marishou (Her name is Marion but Marishou is a very nice way of saying that), my name is Jesse and I am from Australia. It is nice to meet you.'
She was impressed (I think) and immediately wanted to prepare food for me. It was 4am! I couldn't refuse, in fact I don't think anyone can refuse food from this woman. She prepared some Kielbasa sausage and it was the best I've ever had, homemade too. Meanwhile Ania came home and it was like a family reunion, they were so happy to see her it was a good feeling.

It was a really nice house too, apparently over 80 years old. It had a really nice old wooden staircase that led to the second story, and my bedroom. I was damn tired and so was Karolina, so we went to bed with her mum promising a smörgåsbord of food the next day.

Copenhagen

On the twelfth of April I caught the train from Aalborg to Copenhagen with my British mates: Lauren, Alan and Drew. We were going to stay in Copenhagen until Tuesday and meet up with Laurens boyfriend from the UK. On Tuesday I was meeting up with some Polish girls and heading to Poland for one week.

The train trip lasted six hours and we passed the time talking 'codson' (British expression meaning 'to talk shit'). We arrived in Copenhagen at around 2pm at the central train station. Lauren and her boyfriend were going to be staying in a hotel whilst Drew, Alan and I were staying in a hostel. First we found Lauren's hotel and it turned out to be a bit of a dive. The hallways were so skinny that even a hobbit would have had trouble walking down them. Her room didn't even have a toilet and the view would have made a happy person want to commit suicide. You get the picture dear reader.

We left Lauren and found our hostel nearby. It was nearly twenty stories high and looked brand new. The lobby was huge and their was a classy bar situated near the entrance. It looked nothing like the hostel we were expecting. We rocked up to the front desk only to find out that the hostel had some stupid system that canceled any booking unless you came in before 6pm. Luckily for us they had room so we re-booked. The guy behind the counter was an Australian who informed us that alcohol was forbidden in the rooms. He also informed us that noone would come in the room while we were there and we could find the cheapest alcohol in the supermarket. Legend.

Our room was shared with three other people whom we never actually met. It was on the ninth floor and the view was bloody fantastic. It was better than Lauren's room and she was paying double the amount!

We unpacked all our gear, well, when I say unpacked I mean we put our backpacks on the floor. Then we set out for the night to see what Copenhagen had to offer. The streets seemed quiet even though it was Saturday, but we managed to find a karaoke bar called 'Sam's bar' that was full of people. There was one guy who wouldn't give up the microphone to anyone else. This would have been fine except he couldn't sing for shit and most people in the room were starting to look murderous, especially when he butchered 'Stairway to Heaven' (Led Zeppelin). None of us were in the mood for singing that night so we moved on.

I'm writing this two weeks after the trip so some things are hazy in my mind, however I remember the first night was pretty uneventful. We visited about four more bars, most of them Irish funnily enough and then we went home.

The following day we were a bit more organised and walked around central Copenhagen to take in the sights and snap the obligatory touristic type photos. After awhile we found a nice park and sat on the grass. I had the bright idea of getting some photos of Alan and I up a nearby tree. You can guess what happened next. I tried to pull of an orangutan stunt dismount that failed dismally, and I plummeted to the ground landing on all fours. I wasn't hurt but everyone in the park thought I had died. This was accident number one and we all know that these things happen in three's...

After walking around some more we decided to take a canal tour in a sightseeing boat. It was about as interesting as you would expect but it did help us to get a better idea of the layout of the city and some places that we should visit. When we were leaving the boat at our stop Drew made a passing comment to me: 'Don't trip off the boat mate'. As I was walking up the steps that join the boat with the dock I somehow tripped and slammed down on the metal bridge. The noise was tremendous for such a small trip and immediately everyone on the boat looked at me. Unfortunetely another group had just boarded and the boat was full. To make matters worse the boat had a see-through roof and I could see an old couple laughing at me. Fucken brilliant.

I made my way off the boat and tried to get away as fast as possible with Drew and Alan both laughing hard as you would expect. I wasn't hurt at all but the embarrassment levels were high on the Richter scale. Number two accident complete.

Later on we found a cheap bar called 'The Moose'. It was a bit of a dive but it had character and the beers were cheap. The barman also happened to be a crazy DJ whom we had seen in Aalborg a few weeks earlier at a ghetto soul night. In keeping with the moose theme we found another bar on the way home that had a moose's head on the wall. At 3am the moose started to talk. Both Drew and I saw it and we told Lauren, who refused to look. Her boyfriend Steven saw it happen but he wouldn't admit it and Lauren refuses to believe it happened to this very day. When Drew and I got back to the hostel there was a couple sleeping in the hallway and Alan was fast asleep as he had gone back earlier. As punishment we took photos of him while he was asleep with us in them.

The final night in Copenhagen we found a venue that promised live music. The place had around fifteen people in it and six of them were band members. We were doubtful at first of the bands ability, especially when they told us that they were gigging together for the first time. The music was supposed to start at 10pm but the band decided to wait for more people, a mistake as by the time they started playing at 11pm nearly everyone else had left! Fortunately they were great. The singer, a woman, was amazing. The rest of the band were great as well. They mainly covered well known songs but the woman brought something unique to each one. By now we were literally the only ones in the section of the venue with the band. We felt sorry for them because they really did deserve a bigger audience with their level of talent.

To show our respect we stole their drumsticks at the end of the night and followed the bass guitarist to an underground alternative bar. The bar was cement and soon enough we had made friends with the barman, a twenty something with nearly as many piercings on his face. We started talking about the nastiest shots of alcohol that he had and of course we had to try them. He agreed to shout us the shots, probably because he wanted to see us get messed up. True to his word they tasted terrible. I likened the taste to that of drain-cleaner. We left late and the barman gave us some water for free for the trip home.

Number three happened the following day while I was walking up some steps at the train station with Alan and Drew. I tripped and nearly fell, but managed to regain my balance at the last minute. Of course Drew thought this was bloody hilarious, I was just glad that my three accidents were over. We sat down outside the train station and it immediately became apparent that we had sat in a 'dealing' area. Actually, it couldn't have been more obvious, a man sat down next to me and started rambling about how he had Valium to sell and did I need any? No I told him so he talked some more shit and finally left. It was getting close to the time when Alan, Lauren and Drew had to catch the train back to Copenhagen and I was going to meet the Polish girls and head to the airport. We said our farewells and split up.

The next post will be on Poland, in fact Poland will need more than one post...

MIA

I have been in Poland for the past week and a half, hence the absence of any recent updates. Do not fear however, I will make some new posts today and tomorrow.

Meat night

Last week I went horse-riding for one of my classes. That's right, h'm earning a degree by sitting on a horse for a few hours. Well it sure beats doing real work... The highlight was when my saddle came undone while my horse was galloping. I felt myself sliding off the horse and my foot was still stuck in the stirrup. Somehow I managed to stop the stubborn bastard and then I half fell off the side. Trust me to pick the one horse that had a loose saddle!

Tonight I'm heading out to meet up with Mathies, Jesper and Drew for a 'Meat night'. Mathies and Jesper are cooking a heap of meat and we're going to drink some beers as well of course. I will just paste the message he sent me on Facebook:

Are you ready for tomorrow night? Let me draw up the plan for you. We will meet/meat at my place in Valdemarsgade around 19.00 hours. All you need to bring is beer supplies for your own needs and wants, Jesper and I will take care of the rest. I would not recommend you guys to eat anything after lunch and if you want anything else than meat you should bring it yourself. Well, we will have some bread too, but not too much, it will spoil the taste of the meat. After a couple of hours of meat extravaganza, we will check each other out and if we're able to speak proper English, we should drink some more. Definitely. After about 20 beers each, we have to walk around 500 metres to get to the party we have been invited to.

See you tomorrow around 19.00. If you show up on beforehand, you WILL have the pleasant opportunity to see both Jesper and me drinking in the shower. Naked.

I expect a lot from you guys and especially Jesper, who is famous for cutting down wired lamps and filling his pockets with cutlery.

Mathies is a funny bastard, you can probably see this reflected in his message. I aim to show up after 19:00 to avoid the drinking naked in the shower part however. Should be a good night, although I'm not exactly sure who's party I'm attending, hopefully it's a Danish one. There is also a Hungarian and an Italian party on tonight. In addition to this I'm supposed to meet Karolina in the street (Jomfru), later on... The absolute worst part however, is that tomorrow is the final language bath for basic Danish! It lasts for six hours and starts at 10am... How I will pull up is anyone's guess!

Pictured below: A few slabs of Denmark's finest...

Yes, I am still alive

Part 2: The rest of it

Well the ferry didn't sink and we all survived the trip. Cruising up the river towards our port we went up on top deck to take some initial photos and gaze like a tourist.

We all thought that Denmark was cold but we were in for a shock. Sweden literally took our breath away it was that cold. The snow cover was quite thick on all the buildings and the ground.

In the left hand picture you can see myself and Drew with our sheriff badges, looking like twats really.

As we neared the mooring point we passed underneath the main bridge of Göteborg, it was 45 meters high yet our ferry only just fit underneath it! By this stage we were well and truly freezing so we went back downstairs in preparation for leaving the ferry.

I was expecting a passport check or even an ID check but it seems they will let anyone into Sweden. None of us were asked for any ID whatsoever (note to self- a drug racket importing to Sweden would be viable).

Because the ferry had been delayed it was getting dark and we still had to find the way to the hostel. We knew the bus number and had a map but it proved easier to just ask people the way.

We arrived at the hostel after asking for directions about five times. Fortunately there was someone at the front desk still and we picked up our key for the room. The hostel was quite far out of town but a bus ran into the city regularly.

It is my experience that people that stay in hostels are usually quite friendly but it seemed to be the opposite at this one. There was a lot of Russian men around and they seemed to stand outside and smoke endlessly. Whatever floats your boat I guess. In any case we were only here for two days and didn't expect to make best friends with anyone. We dumped all our packs in the room and then head into the city to see what was happening.

We decided to walk around and try out a few bars along the way. The first place we came to looked really dodgy from the outside, yet when you walked down into a cellar type room it became apparent that it was a classy place. They had a beer list with nearly 50 types of beer! I tried a Swedish beer and the others all tried different ones also.

We went to about three more bars after this until everyone except myself and Drew wanted to go and get some sleep in preparation for the following big day. The others headed back to the hostel while Drew and I went off in search of an Irish pub (being St. Patrick's day).

Well what do you know a few blocks up and we came across an Irish pub full of people and with loud music. They were doing ID checks and I thought no big deal at first, until the guy said you have to be 23 to enter. I tried my luck anyway and he must have liked me because he let me in (Drew is 23). They had Guinness on tap which isn't really my drink of choice but I tried it anyway because they looked like they knew how to pour a proper one (It was the best one I've had yet for the record).

A random girl came up and started talking to us until I noticed a man watching us closely. I then dropped into the conversation who she had come with and when she said her boyfriend I managed to get rid of her to avoid trouble. Guys are usually fine with you talking to their girlfriends but I got the feeling this particular swede was in the mood for trouble, and we didn't want trouble on our first night in town. Save that for the second night.

We moved upstairs and bought another beer. There was some live music playing and the atmosphere was good so we stayed for quite awhile. When it got to around 4am or so we were both feeling drained because of the ferry trip and having to wake up at 5:30am in the morning, so we decided to head back to the hostel to sleep for a few hours.

I woke up six hours later feeling pretty exhausted yet excited about seeing Sweden. Everyone except Drew and myself had managed to get to the breakfast at 8am. We decided to grab something quick in town later on.

While we were waiting at the bus stop a man drove past in a jeep and wearing a beret, we named him 'Sergeant Major'. He looked like he meant business and could possibly have a stash of AK47 rifles in his car somewhere. I had the bright idea of singing the chorus from the Johnny Cash song 'Ring of fire', next time he drove past (his window was down). I am unsure if I have mentioned this previously but this particular song has become our households theme-song. Originally it was the British that introduced it at one of the parties but now we just randomly yell it out and most people know what were on about. Good way to liven up a party or just a trip on the bus.

But I digress. As the sergeant major approached us again I started to yell out 'Ring of fire'. He slowed right down which was awkward but I kept going and at the end I gave him a salute to finish it off. He must have thought I was insane! Thankfully the bus came before he came past again and I made my escape.

When we arrived in town we decided to just walk around everywhere and maybe hop on a ferry later to go up and down the river. The weather was beautiful. It was sunny and a blue sky, none of us had seen this for quite some time... It was still very cold of course and there was snow everywhere, but the sun more than made up for it.

Sweden reminded me of Denmark. It was damn cold but the women were beautiful. Everyone we spoke to also spoke English in varying degrees of fluency, also like Denmark. For lunch we tried a traditional Swedish meal called Koftbuller. Basically it is meatballs served with mashed potato and a type of jam on the side. It was really nice, probably the best meatballs I've ever had. The same place also had decent coffee, which was a relief. I am suffering from decent coffee withdrawal here.

We kept walking taking in the sights and found some weird statues and some nice old buildings. We found the oldest building in Göteborg, well apparently it was. Nowhere did it tell us how old it actually was though. Near this building was a homemade chocolate shop. Everything was made by just two people. Damn nice chocolate it was too...

The rest of the day was spent just taking in the sights, it would bore me (and you) to write about it so I will just put the photos up on the link on the left hand side of the page.

We headed back to the hostel later on and made it back with five minutes left of happy hour in the bar. We all bought two drinks each because after happy hour ended the prices were expensive again. We also decided to try the nights meal, some sort of broccoli and meat bake. It was also bloody good and filled us up nicely in preparation for another big night.

We went back into the city around 8pm. Alan spotted a frozen pond with a concrete statue in the middle and I decided to walk out into the middle of it to see if the ice would hold up. Alan joined me and we skated across the ice while everyone else was praying that it would break and send us into the freezing water. In the middle was a big log and I threw it in the direction of the others, unfortunately it fell short and sent freezing cold water into everyones faces. Good for a laugh.

Alan was in a generous mood and offered to shout Drew and I a shot of something in a posh looking bar. He soon regretted this when he paid the bill and it cost around $50AUD! Bloody ripoff. It was an in and out job and we were soon heading to another place. I can't recall the name of the next place we went to but it was very dark inside.

As we approached the bar a local man spotted Drew's football (soccer) shirt and the next thing you know he has taken his top off in the bar to show us all his tattoo's! Crazy bastard. I bought us beers and left Drew and Alan talking to the crazy man. About five minutes later they had managed to get away from him and joined us in the adjoining room. We were all talking when the same man came in and just stood at the head of the table. No one wanted to encourage him to start talking again so we just ignored him. It was a bit awkward moment, but eventually he walked away and we breathed a sigh of relief.

The next stop was a bar called 'The Flying Dingo'. Of course everyone wanted to go there because they assumed it was an Australian place. Everyone except for me. It was set partially underground and had pieces of Australian memorabilia everywhere. I was the only Australian in the place however and I'm pretty sure even the owner isn't Australian. As we got further in I heard singing and got a bad feeling about the place. I was right, it was Karaoke night and a man gave us pieces of paper to write out song choices down on.

I have a fear of public singing and didn't really feel like confronting that fear that night, or any other night. Drew and Christoph convinced me into singing Oasis- Wonderwall with them whilst Kathy and Alan chose to sing Scorpions- Winds of change. The look on the DJ's face while we were singing was one of utter pain. Kathy filmed us singing as well, that is one video I am not looking forward to seeing. I must say that overall it was pretty fun but not really my cup of tea.

Some Spanish girls came in and Drew was looking interested in them. Kathy told him that she would 'help' him out. The next thing we know and she has dragged two Spanish girls over from the dance floor to introduce to Drew. What followed next reminded me of some great scenes from the TV show The Office with Ricky Gervais. Kathy pointed at Drew and said, 'he's a bit shy, but he likes you'. I can still picture the cringe on Drew's face and I must have had a similar expression on my face too.

Let's just say it was not the best situation in the world to be in and I truly felt sorry for Drew. Hell, I even felt sorry for myself just being near the situation! The girls edges away and Drew and I glared at Kathy. The worst part is she didn't realise that she had done something wrong. I got some sympathy shots from the bar for Drew and we tried to forget what had just happened.

Christoph and his girlfriend decided they wanted to go home around 1am but the rest of us decided to stay on for awhile. A few hours later we were heading to another bar when Christoph came running up to us from out of nowhere. He told us that the next bus wasn't coming for another hour and we decided to just take a taxi back to the hostel. Splitting the bill six ways would make it worthwhile. We found a taxi and set off.

Halfway through the trip and I could hear sirens, at first I thought I was imagining things. It was only when the taxi driver pulled over and I could see the flashing lights of the police car behind us. They came up to the window and I started to sing 'Ring of fire' again. Then Drew joined in while the taxi driver was being breathalised. After the breatho we set off again, we all felt sorry for the taxi driver and gave him a tip when he dropped us off at the hostel. We all went to bed not looking forward to the 10am checkout the following morning.

We actually woke up for breakfast and it was very nice. They had a big selection of meats and cheeses that you could help yourself too. And of course coffee. We all had a haggard look about us, not surprising considering we had barely slept the past few days. After breakfast we checked out and headed back into the city centre.

We had the return ferry trip to catch at 2:30pm so there wasn't much time left. We decided to take it easy and hop on the local ferry that cruised up and down the river regularly. We got some good photos from the ferry, my personal favorite was one of a piece of graffiti that said: 'Kemal was gay'. I voiced my thoughts on this to the others. Why exactly did it say 'Kemal was gay?' Did he suddenly decide that he actually liked women all of a sudden? Or did he die of AIDS which would explain the 'was' in the sentence? High level conversation as you can see.

We hopped off at a nice looking stop to get some lunch. It was warm enough to sit outside, even though there was snow just nearby. The sun was out in all it's glory, again. For this we were bloody thankful. Drew actually fell asleep (see one of the photos), and of course we exploited this by taking all sorts of wrong photos.

Alan and I went up some stairs behind we were sitting to find a balcony type lookout just above everyone. We threw some snow down on Christoph and his girlfriend because they looked so peaceful and we wanted to ruin that. I accidentally threw some snow down on a small child who looked around startled. Luckily his mum didn't see what happened. Wrong place, wrong time kid.

After lunch we walked to the top of a nearby lookout in the park. On top the guys had another snowfight. We named it the axis versus allies snowfight as it was Britain and Australia versus Germany. As always we were making reference to the war, luckily Christoph has a good sense of humour. For the record, Germany lost.

The day was flying along now, we had walked all the way around town to come back nearby the ferry departure point. Drew, Kathy and Christine decided to go and wait there for 45 minutes or so whilst Christoph, Alan and I set off to find one of Christoph's geocache's. I haven't yet explained exactly what Geo-caching is so here goes. It has to be the most nerdy sport in the world. The aim of the game is to locate hidden caches all around the world using a GPS and coordinates downloaded off the Internet. There is thousands of participants around the world apparently and caches can be found all around the world, even in Iraq...

Christoph got excited when he saw there was a cache nearby so Alan and I decided to humour him and help him find it. It was at the top of another lookout point in the centre of town, we had to climb about 200 steps to get to the top!

It was deserted and Christoph told us that the cache should be within ten meters of where we were standing. He also told us that usually it's magnetic and on the underside of a bench or similar object. After walking around in vain and feeling like a fool one of us stumbled over a hole that was covered with grass. Jackpot.

Christoph was getting excited and he pulled out two bags from the cache. Alan said: 'I wonder what's in there,' to which I replied 'probably just a bag of shit.' At this point Christoph opened the bag and what do you know it was full of dog shit! The facial expression on Christoph's face was priceless. Alan had his camera out and he took a photo. And what a photo! We abandoned the bag of shit and set off for the ferry trip back home. Ever since that day we always tease Christoph about his geo-caching for bags of shit.

Photo descriptions- 1) On the ferry 2) Lookout point in Göteborg 3) Drew after a hard night 4) The storm we sailed into... 5) Church tower 6) Posh bar with massive beer list.

Goteborg, Sweden. The ferry trip.

Part 1: The ferry trip.

On Monday I woke up at 5:30am. This is the earliest I have woken up in the past 4 months! The reason being that myself and five friends were heading to Sweden and the train was leaving at 7:01am.

Christoph, his girlfriends Christine and I caught the 6:22am bus to the station where we met up with Katherina, Drew and Alan. We bought the tickets and for some stupid reason had to validate them in the machine ten times each! The Danish are so efficient in many ways yet they fail at the most simple things haha.

We managed to get on the right train to Frederikshavn (landing place for ferry) and Drew and I cracked open a celebratory beer. I hear you thinking, 'but it's only 7 O' clock in the morning!' Well I would advise you to save the shock for later because it will most likely get worse.

Upon arrival in Frederikshavn we made a bee line for the ferry office to pick up our tickets. Disaster number one struck. The express ferry that we were supposed to be taking was canceled because the sea was too rough. This meant that we had to wait until 2pm for the normal ferry to come. It also meant that we had five hours to kill...

I adopted a positive mentality. Shit happens and you make the most of it. After all we were on holiday and in good company. We set out for the centre of town to see what was happening.

Turns out not much was happening at all. Hardly surprising considering it was only 8:30am and being a Monday. We were starving so we went into the first place that looked decent. I ordered some Polser (sausages) with some frittes (chips), a nice healthy breakfast.

After eating ourselves stupid we set off up the main street. Dotted randomly up and down the streets were these weird pieces of playground equipment. I say playground equipment but really you wouldn't want your kids playing on these things. They looked like lawsuits waiting to happen, so of course we all had a go.


The first shop we found was called 'Tiger', it's like the Danish equivalent of an Australian two dollar shop except there is no way in hell anything will ever be two dollars. The first thing Alan did was go and set all the egg-timers in the shop to go off in five minutes. Alan is 28 for the record but a very funny guy (British).

Drew and I bought 'Sheriff' badges for the heck of it and then waited in suspense for the timers to go off. When it actually happened it was a bit of an anti-climax. They must have been for people with sensitive hearing or something, they were bloody quiet. I still pissed myself laughing however as I had mentally hyped it up that much.

Moving on from Tiger we found a seedy looking book/video shop and had a look in the rack out the front. The first VHS Drew pulled out happened to be a German S&M one with a pretty graphic cover. We spent the next five minutes laughing at all the vintage porno on display and then someone spotted a bar called Jerry's. By this time it was around 10:30am.

They sat us in the corner out of the way of the respectable people. We soon found out the reason for this, it smelt bad. After looking at the menu's for awhile Alan spotted something called 'the tower'. Take a guess at what it was, I'll give you a clue: It was in the beer section.

Well you guessed right. 'The tower' is four liters of beer in a massive bong like object with it's own beer tap down the bottom (picture on right). It is truly a feat of engineering. Only the guys felt like drinking at this early hour so we got four classes and got to it.

We all wanted photo's with the tower in all it's greatness and we made a note to come back to Jerry's on our return trip for another tower.

We managed to kill an hour or two in Jerry's and then head off to see what else the town had to offer. It was a sleepy kind of place and didn't look like it would have a great nightlife either.

Christoph went off by himself for awhile and we plotted a way to play a practical joke on him. We decided on finding a piece of paper that looked similar to the ferry ticket and dropping it off the side of the walkway that leads to the ferry itself. Because it was so windy we knew that he would have to run a good hundred meters to catch it and that would prove immensely funny for the rest of us.

A few hours later and we put our plan into action. I started off by telling him I had a sore ankle because I had tripped over something, this would give me an excuse not to run when I dropped the ticket. Then Katherina suggest that we take a photo 'over by that exit'. We were all lined up and I said 'oh here's the ticket Christoph', and pretended to look in my pockets. Katherina then said 'smile everyone' and I threw the fake ticket over the side. It fell down around fifteen meters and everyone just yelled 'Christoph run you've got the longest legs.' It was comedic gold, but really one of those things you have to be part of to laugh at.

Christoph swore in German then ran down the stairs after the piece of paper. We were all pissing ourselves laughing and when he actually managed to catch the piece of paper and dropped down to his knees we laughed even harder. We then yelled out telling him to look at the piece of paper. The expression on his face when he realised he had been played was bloody funny. He took it well however and I'm sure we will be giving him shit about it for the next five months.

The ferry was massive, nearly 45 meters high. It was like a small city with slot machines, bars and a even a restaurant. We went straight to the top deck to take in the view, it was very windy. I was in the mood for a Titanic pose photo, but it was that windy that it was making it hard (see my attempt on the left).

I threw some snow from the top deck on the cars that were driving on board which I'm sure they appreciated. I was wearing the sheriff badge which gave me the authority however.

We all went back inside after the ferry had left Denmark and tried to find somewhere to sit. The only decent place left was conveniently placed near the bar/restaurant. There was even a dance floor.

About one hour into the trip and we realised why the express ferry had been canceled, because the sea was too rough for a smaller ship to journey through. People were been sick left right and centre and the waves were slapping on our viewing window which must have been at least 25-35 meters above the sea! Katherina and Alan were sleeping, Christoph was sitting with his girlfriend and Drew and I were walking the ship playing the slot machines.

I started to feel really sick so Drew and I went outside to brave the elements. It was insane. The wind was so strong we could barely walk and the waves were crashing near us and on us. We went right to the side guardrail to take it all in and it was very impressive. We managed to survive a few minutes outside before heading back in but it was worth it. Not only was I feeling better but I was actually hungry as well!

We went to the cafe area where everyone was looking very sorry for themselves which made me feel even better haha. We bought some sandwiches and took them back downstairs to see how the others were fairing. I sat down opposite Christine and started eating quite vigorously. This turned out to be a mistake, she started gagging and then had to run with Christoph to the toilet.

Drew, the barman and I thought it was pretty funny but I did feel a little bit bad. After eating we kept moving, this proved to be the best way to not be seasick. All in all it was an enjoyable trip even though I thought we were going to sink at one stage.

Basic Danish

Basic Danish is beginning to do my head in. But I've decided that rather than quit, like you might think I would, that I'm going to stick it out. I don't mind the actual classes although they seem to drag on forever, but there is one guy who always has to question every single little detail. In addition to this every time a question is asked he races to answer it in record time. By the time he is yelling out the answer I have managed to translate maybe half the sentence! The advantage of this is since he's always yelling out the answers it means less times that I have to answer the hard questions.

It's not just Danish I'm trying to learn here. I now know basic German, Italian and Spanish. I have also being trying hard to learn some simple Polish. Nothing says you like a girl more than trying to learn her native language...


My house mates put a sign on my door that says 'Sleeping Kangaroo'. In reference to the fact that I sleep the most, smartasses. In retaliation I put a sign on Davide's door that says 'Daville sleeping'. This is really an inside joke, our Danish teacher always calls him Daville because Danes pronounce 'd' as 'l'. In the bottom corner of the sign I wrote: 'Mr. Big rocks my jocks.' Yet another inside joke. Mr. big is Davide's hero, some famous guitar player whom none of us have ever heard of. Whenever I want to bag him out I just tell Davide that Mr. big can't even play the air guitar. Works every time.


I'm getting a lot of page views from all round the world. It surprises me. I would be interested in hearing feedback from anyone who reads this blog. Mainly why you do and what would you like to hear about? pissedpanda@gmail.com

The man himself

1. Our house mascot. Poster in the kitchen.















2. Get together.












3. Random shot.

Daville and the moto GP

Ever played twister on a bed? Do you even know what twister is? Click here if you really don't know what is, in which case I pity you. Last night I found myself in a situation which required me to play the game on bedsheets that had the same pattern as the sheet of plastic you usually play on. In this exciting post I will tell you about this experience and also what I did the previous night. I may also tell you what I got up to today. The past few sentences of this post is an example of bad writing and not that I proofread any of my posts or anything but right now I'm ashamed. But I digress. Let the magical stories begin.

Friday:
Davide and I caught the bus downtown where we met up with an Italian guy called Raffaele and some of his friends. We then had to wait around for about ten minutes for the bus to take us to the party. It was located way out in the east of Aalborg, the middle of bloody nowhere basically. I lost my ticket but I just picked up an old one and showed it to the driver, he didn't even look at the date.

This random guy aged about 40-45 got on the bus and sat opposite me. Shortly after he looked at me and said something in Danish. It was too fast for me so I just said 'sorry, no Danish'. He looked me and said: 'why not?' I figured he was joking as Danish people love to wind you up. So I said 'because I've only been here one month.' He must have decided that I was wise to his tricks so he introduced himself and I found out that he was an American who had lived here for a long time. The guy asked where we were going and being the suspicious person I am ,I told him to a friends house. If I had told him a party maybe he would have tried to get an invite haha.

We finally arrived at the party. They actually had a bar which was a first, it also meant we didn't have to lug a whole lot of beer all the way over town. There was about 120-150 people there already (11pm), and a decent sized dance floor as well. I spoke to at least ten different people up until around 1am when I met the Polish girl, Karolina, from the previous weeks party. I didn't make a post about it but I also met her earlier in the week at the student house. I was dancing with her for a while (that's right, dancing, albeit poorly). At around 3am we decided to walk downtown, possibly to the street.

I found Alberto with his calimocho (spelling?) but he was going to stay and try his luck with a Spanish girl. So Karolina and I set off, it was a decent walk of around 40 minutes as all the buses had stopped running. I was impressed that she didn't complain at all, but I later found out that in Poland she has to walk long distances all the time. The public transport must be worse than in Melbourne, if that is at all possible!

We ended up alongside the fjord, a large expanse of water that separates lower Aalborg from upper. It was bloody freezing but the view made up for it. While I was taking in the view some smart-ass decided to beep his horn causing me to nearly fall in the water haha. Lucky I didn't' because I would have taken the Polish girl in with me...

Saturday:
Later that day at around 9pm I headed downtown again, bracing myself against the blasting winds as I walked across the large main bridge. I made the mistake of opening a map I had in my pocket and of course it blew straight over the edge. Fuck you wind.

When I finally arrived at my destination Alberto and Davide were waiting for me and we made our way to the right apartment. An Italian girl named Eleanora and her housemates were hosting a dinner/party for about twelve people. We ate gnocchi, tortilla and some nice Spanish meats like chorizo and jamon serrano (smoked ham). There was a good mix of nationalities. Spanish, American, French, Italian, Dutch and of course Australian.

The inevitable suggestion to play a drinking game came. I cursed that person silently haha. This time we played a game called 'Kings'. Rules here. I won't go into details about what happened, but for a drinking game it was pretty fun.

We had been eating dinner in the largest room in the house, one of the Spanish girls rooms. Her bed happened to have the same coloured circles as in the game twister (as mentioned earlier). So we passed around a pack of cards. Whoever had a red card had to play, black meant you didn't and the ace was the person who told everyone where to put their hands and feet.

It was a single bed and got pretty crowded with four people clambering all over the place, trying not to fall to their doom. I played a few rounds then decided it was more fun to watch and take photos, so I kept a black card in my pocket. Yes I'm a cheat.

People started to drift off around 3am and I soon went home with Davide.

The cooking situation

Heres how the cooking worked for the first week:

Germany- sausages with pickles and tomato sauce.
Czechoslovakia- powdered soup that looked horrible.
Spain- tortilla or meatballs.
Italy- pasta with tomato sauce.
Australia- tortilla, Spanish chicken and warm chicken salad.

I don't like to brag, but the other guys can't cook so well. At least not yet. It's to be expected though, they all still live at home. Before I moved out I had difficulty cooking rice.

We are about a month in now and the guys are starting to find their cooking feet at last. We all cook separately but usually try each others meals. We are also planning on doing maybe one meal per week which we would all help make.

This is working alright, apart from the fact that I am used to cooking for everyone else so I end up with enough food from one meal to last me a few days. This is good in a way.

We are always bagging out Christoph about eating sausages all the time because it is such a stereotype. In fact he doesn't eat them any more then I do. The same goes for Alberto and his tortilla, he has to have at least one per week or he gets cravings. I am also averaging one per week because it is so easy to make and tastes even better the day after cold.

Alberto is always calling his mum in Spain and asking her for more recipes. It's always funny to listen to the conversation because he gets so animated. Spanish is an interesting language, also with some nice swear words which of course I am learning. I am also learning how to swear in German and Italian and how to tell a girl she looks beautiful in Italian. The most important parts of the language basically.

Jaroslav seems to cook pretty basic stuff, I think he might be afraid of trying to make something a bit complicated and failing. All I can say is I'm glad I have experience cooking for myself because otherwise I'd be malnourished right now.

We had a tortilla competition the other night, and even Alberto (Spanish) agreed that mine was the best. Man I must sound like a prat talking like this but even James (boss in Australia) would have been proud of it I'm sure.

We are all hanging out for summer when we can hopefully get a BBQ and cook out the front, and of course drink some beers whilst doing so.

Some random pics

1. Ostre Alle hallway party.
















2. Dinner party at our joint.


















3. Rock Caffe 'en (metal bar).












4. Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll Party (bad photo).















5. Ostre Alle 91 in the basement, nearly got stuck in this fricken thing.

Wind turbine collapse

This happened recently due too strong winds in Denmark:

Ostre Alle 91

Last night we had some British mates over for drinks before heading to a party. We were all having a good time when this German girl that someone partially knows arrived. She was pretty hammered and quite possibly the most aggressive female I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. I'm not going to name names because the Internet has a habit of catching you up and biting you in the arse when you least expect it...

Everyone was just talking and having a laugh when I noticed out of the corner of my eye the German girl playing with a butter knife. She was randomly stabbing it into the table and beginning to scare me and the English guy she was sitting next too. Then someone brought up birth control in a funny way and the German girl took it literally and started having a go at everyone. Bit of a schizophrenic. At the time I was thinking we were going to have to get out some rope and tie her down till she calmed down but the German guy I live with yelled at her and she seemed to calm down a bit. Needless to say we were all glad when she left.

At 11:00pm we headed out to a 'Black and White' themed party at a Collegium called 'Ostre Alle 91'. We had seen some videos of the place on you tube (link HERE), apparently the building was in a bad way and really should have been condemned. The hosts had obviously decided to go with a black lighting theme as well, i.e. no lighting at all outside. Finally we found the right entrance and headed up two flights of stairs to the party. Well, it was different. Ostre Alle has no common or living room so the party was in a massive hallway. Playing of music was rare but there was at least 100 people so a pretty good attendance rate.

We found our niche in the hallway and set up camp with all the beers and coats that were soaked from the rain outside. I was just chilling, having a good time when I saw a Polish girl that I've seen around but hadn't talked to before. I was geared up to go and talk to her but she ended up coming to me. Her English was very good but she played it down, this is common for most of the internationals I've met. I talked to her for most of the party and got her number, we might meet in the street tonight if the wind drops below 250km/h!

She left at 3am to take her house mate home and after talking to some more people I found my original group singing the chorus from the song 'ring of fire' (Johnny Cash), and turning the lights on and off for the whole hallway. Not bad entertainment when you have 15 people in a circle singing the song and going mental.

At 3am we went and explored the basement. It was pretty bad considering people actually had to live there and use the facilities. I climbed into a locker and nearly got stuck, some good photos were taken and then we went home.

Right now it's 6:46pm Saturday and we're thinking about having a semi-quiet night. Possibly playing some pool.

P.S. Worth a look: Notorious B.I.G- Hitler remix

Tell me what you want me to write about

Your probably all getting sick of hearing about how much I can drink. Either that or it is scaring you. So I've decided that as well as those stories you can tell me what to write about. It's pretty simple. Just email me at pissedpanda@gmail.com or write in the comment box to the left of the page.

Maybe you want to hear about my house, a specific house mate, life in Denmark, the weather or anything else. Type and I shall answer.

Photo problems

I had to delete the photo slide show as it was not showing all the pictures for some unknown reason. Instead I have added a link to my photo page on the left hand side of the page. I still have to upload around 50 more photos so bear with me.

Bust out the crackpipe

Friday promised a Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll party. First my house mates and I had to make dinner for a household of Italian and Spanish girls that were coming over. Alberto was going with his tortilla, Davide pasta and I chose nachos and guacamole. We chose basic stuff so we didn't have to panic that nothing was going to be ready on time.

The food turned out pretty good and we were all getting on pretty well. Of course someone had to suggest a drinking game afterwards, it's never me because they are a bit pointless, but of course I'll play if everyone else does. The rules were simple, well simple enough to understand at the time, but I'll be damned if I'm going to explain them here. Drinking games here only stop when all the alcohol is gone, the Spanish girls were getting pretty drunk on Alberto's 'Calimocho' (not sure if that is spelt right?). Which is basically a combination of red wine and coca cola, apparently it's massive in Spain and I have no reason to doubt this because every party I've been to the Spanish people will be drinking it!

The girls were all dressed up for the sex, drugs and rock n' roll party I mentioned earlier, and they wanted us to dress up too. Amazingly they conned us into wearing some eye makeup, trying to get that rock star look haha. I saw the aftermath photos on Facebook this morning... My god what an embarrassment. I looked like a panda that is feeling very sorry for itself.

Eventually we made it to the party. There was about 90 or so people there and the room was quite small so it wasn't bad. The que for the toilet was terrible so I wandered up the dorm hallway and found an open room with about 10 people in it. I had to be quick so I introduced myself and talked to a nice Danish guy and girl for awhile. I then asked if I could use the toilet haha. It probably took the same amount of time as if I'd waited in the normal que but I met some more Danes which is always good.

I stayed at this party for a few hours then left with some other guys to go to Jomfru Ane Gade. To be honest I am nearly over this street. The music is mainstream bullshit at most of the places and the drinks are too bloody expensive. The smaller places (Bodega's) further out of the city are better in my opinion, partly because you are more likely to meet other Danes and also because the beer is cheaper.

It was a fairly typical night and I'm not sure what is on tonight yet (Saturday). So far there hasn't been a weekend where I haven't gone out somewhere. I might take it easy tonight and just play some poker with the house mates, we'll see what happens.

US Economy VS The Female G Spot

I was trying to do the seemingly endless amount of reading required for tomorrow's classes until I reached one piece which was an online news story. The story was on rising interest rate inflation in the US and the problems that their housing market is experiencing. I'm not quite sure how exactly this is related to the subject in any way but I will trust the Danes, at least for now.

Anyway, I was scanning the page doing my best to take all the excitement in, when halfway down the page there was a massive link to another news story titled - 'Female G spot can be detected'. Of course I had to click on it, who could resist such a temptation?

It was all very interesting but I fail to see the relevance between the two articles. I'm sure the US economy is very pleasurable for some but really the news site in question should consider separating these kinds of stories.

In other news, Alberto 'bought' (wink wink, nudge nudge), a bike. Someday in the near future I may inform him that it is in fact a girls bike. Being purple doesn't help either. On the other hand it could be funny to let him find this out for himself.

As for the 'G spot' article. Move along nothing to see here. It was shit.

Anti Flag- yes, sometimes the title is irrelevant to the content...

FRIDAY:
Last Friday my house mates and I found out that a traffic light party was going to be taking place that night. For those of you that don't know what this kind of party entails, allow me to elaborate. You wear green if your sin